Excuse me, waiter, there's dignity in my soup.

I thought about her today. The one I always thought got me into this mess I call my life. When I did I finally unraveled the mystery as to why we ever were and why I kept going back. Despite only ever feeling and empty void between us. She was my excuse. At that point in my life I was going through a lot of changes at once. Newish school, new job, ending an almost two year relationship, and living on my own for the first time in my life. It was a lot of new found responsibility I never had to worry about before. Then, by some random occurrence, I met up with this person who's problems dwarfed that of my own. And that was my ticket out of having to deal with becoming an adult, fending for myself. She was my excuse out of living the life I was so afraid to live. So in the end, everything that happened to me did through my secret need for it to keep me from being held accountable for my life and what I wasn't doing with it. I knew I needed to grow up, choose a career, and all those adult things. I was just too scared to make huge life altering decisions. And that's that.

Hope is what we're left with when we don't get what we want.

So, Barack Hussein Obama won, pretty crazy huh? Who would've thought a dude with a name like that would've won the presidency of the United States? Here's a better question: What's the big deal?
Ok, so now we have a black guy for a president instead of a white one. So what? Racism was only an idea we placed on ourselves all those years ago. It was never anything real. So how his is this victory any more tangible? It's the national equivalent to not believing in Santa anymore. Congratulations America, you've passed the mental brain capacity of a seven year old!!! I've never been racist so this is by no means a victory for me. And guess what? The people that were racist before yesterday at 11pm? THEY STILL ARE. We've won absolutely nothing but a black guy who isn't racist, because well... it just doesn't make sense for him to be. However, I'm not discrediting the hardships that anyone may have faced due to race and racism.

What we need is to get rid of institutions like the electoral college, two party systems, and hey let's get a little crazy and do away with singular figures that don't represent you or me all together. I want to celebrate the day we think for ourselves. When we stop limiting our imaginations of a free world to "Hey, we got a black guy. Kewl!". Shit's bigger than that. We need to fix the planet's health, and abolish war. We need to reach out and get all those third world countries up to our level of living. To them we're like that asshole flying through the cross walk with their Porche when we're riding our bikes because we can't afford shit!!! We need to get our heads out our asses and put down our video games and volunteer to change our communities. Let me tell you, feeding a homeless person is way more satisfying than the time I beat Dr. Wily in Megaman. So basically what I'm saying is; get out there and think for yourself.

With that said I'd like to end this on a much lighter note. I got back from the Fest 7 yesterday and it was, as it's always been, the best time of my year. This year I saw some sweet bands and old friends. Met some new ones and had a drunken blast I'll never forget. Thunder Siege was my jam this year, I had so much fun at Ryan and Colin's house. I can't wait to see you all again. Fest 8 can't come soon enough. I love you all.