Materialism doesn't look good on you (or) Frankincense vs. Spidersense

So here we are again, the Holiday Season. Each year that goes by I find myself more and more detached from it. There's so much about it I can't wrap my head around. The mass hysteria caused by great deals at department stores. The religious aspects. Ah, the religious aspects. That's the one thing about all this that seems to be going the way of the dinosaur. But the death of it's connection to this time of year comes at the hand of materialism. Something I don't care for any better really. Remind me of politics in a way. The Reds being religion and the Blues materialism. They're both assholes, one just a lesser evil than the other.

I miss the days when I was a kid and was oblivious to these things and could just enjoy it for what it was. Family time and getting all that crap I wanted all year. But I'm glad I can see it for what it is now. Nothing more than an excuse to line the pockets of the suits. And in the end, it gets me thinking about the kids. When I have my own I wonder if I could honestly deny them the things I enjoyed as a kid just because I know better. I couldn't imagine sending them to school and having them be bummed out that all the other kids are stoked. I'm trying to find an solution. I've got time. I've thought of just inventing something else entirely during this time of year. Kind of like just renaming Xmas something else. Like Festivus from Seinfeld. And then I thought of just removing all the religion from it. No silent night, angels, nativity scenes, ect. Which seems more viable. And then there's not doing it at all. Which makes me think that someday, if I start the machine along with others, that we can somehow put an end to this madness. And that if I don't participate in boycotting it, I'll only perpetuate it further. It's a double edged sword. But it's hard to think I could change that. But I'd hate to miss out being part of changing it if I could.

In the end, I'm not sure my stance can change such a huge thing. I'd have to move somewhere which it's not celebrated or something. It just breaks my heart to see people feeling bad about not being able to buy things for their family in order to be happy. People cry about this. People kill for this. The mad dash to the stores. Staying in lines all night to get in for the best deals. I read a story where an employee got trampled to death when shoppers poured through the door like a hoard of crazed zombies. And when the people were asked to leave the store because a man was killed they received responses like "I waited all night to get in here!". A MAN FUCKING DIED. How can people can be so greedy I can understand.

That's where tears it for me. It's a season of greed and materialism. But then, there's that silver lining of time well spent with family. That somehow seems more special with the mysticism fabricated by the season we find ourselves in. It's a tough spot that I find myself in. Sometimes morality comes at the price of alienation. But I think I'll figure it out someday. Until then, the new Punisher and Moon Knight holiday special comics are sick. Really my kind of shit. Happy Holidays I guess...

Excuse me, waiter, there's dignity in my soup.

I thought about her today. The one I always thought got me into this mess I call my life. When I did I finally unraveled the mystery as to why we ever were and why I kept going back. Despite only ever feeling and empty void between us. She was my excuse. At that point in my life I was going through a lot of changes at once. Newish school, new job, ending an almost two year relationship, and living on my own for the first time in my life. It was a lot of new found responsibility I never had to worry about before. Then, by some random occurrence, I met up with this person who's problems dwarfed that of my own. And that was my ticket out of having to deal with becoming an adult, fending for myself. She was my excuse out of living the life I was so afraid to live. So in the end, everything that happened to me did through my secret need for it to keep me from being held accountable for my life and what I wasn't doing with it. I knew I needed to grow up, choose a career, and all those adult things. I was just too scared to make huge life altering decisions. And that's that.

Hope is what we're left with when we don't get what we want.

So, Barack Hussein Obama won, pretty crazy huh? Who would've thought a dude with a name like that would've won the presidency of the United States? Here's a better question: What's the big deal?
Ok, so now we have a black guy for a president instead of a white one. So what? Racism was only an idea we placed on ourselves all those years ago. It was never anything real. So how his is this victory any more tangible? It's the national equivalent to not believing in Santa anymore. Congratulations America, you've passed the mental brain capacity of a seven year old!!! I've never been racist so this is by no means a victory for me. And guess what? The people that were racist before yesterday at 11pm? THEY STILL ARE. We've won absolutely nothing but a black guy who isn't racist, because well... it just doesn't make sense for him to be. However, I'm not discrediting the hardships that anyone may have faced due to race and racism.

What we need is to get rid of institutions like the electoral college, two party systems, and hey let's get a little crazy and do away with singular figures that don't represent you or me all together. I want to celebrate the day we think for ourselves. When we stop limiting our imaginations of a free world to "Hey, we got a black guy. Kewl!". Shit's bigger than that. We need to fix the planet's health, and abolish war. We need to reach out and get all those third world countries up to our level of living. To them we're like that asshole flying through the cross walk with their Porche when we're riding our bikes because we can't afford shit!!! We need to get our heads out our asses and put down our video games and volunteer to change our communities. Let me tell you, feeding a homeless person is way more satisfying than the time I beat Dr. Wily in Megaman. So basically what I'm saying is; get out there and think for yourself.

With that said I'd like to end this on a much lighter note. I got back from the Fest 7 yesterday and it was, as it's always been, the best time of my year. This year I saw some sweet bands and old friends. Met some new ones and had a drunken blast I'll never forget. Thunder Siege was my jam this year, I had so much fun at Ryan and Colin's house. I can't wait to see you all again. Fest 8 can't come soon enough. I love you all.

That Train Keeps A'Rollin...

So a couple weeks ago I moved into a new apartment. Got my own room for the first time in over a year now. It's a liberating feeling to have your own personal space to go to whenever you need it. For those who might not know, due to some unfortunate circumstances I lived on my younger sister's couch in her tiny one bedroom all that time. It made a relationship impossible. Not that I had opportunity, but it made me not even try. At least now if anything comes up I can give it some attention. I also got a new job after about month of nothing. I work in the kitchens of a hospitality company washing dishes and things. It's pretty much what you have to do before you get into anything else. Have to pay your dues I guess. Looking to get a cooking job ultimately.

Other then that I got the biggest week of my year coming up called The Fest 7!!!!!
I can't wait, last year was the best weekend of my life. But I know it can be topped this year.
So fucking stoked for that. Can't wait to see my old friends and meet new ones while getting insanely blitz out of my tree. Better bring a camera now that I think about it. Who knows how much I'll actually remember. I'm most excited about seeing Leatherface, one of my favorite bands ever. I need a good release, I haven't done much of anything for over a month and a half now. But yea, what the fuck ever. Catch you on the flip side!!!

You will always be remembered. You will be celebrated.

Tonight I came home to find I lost my best friend in the world.
I love you buddy, I'm sorry.
Turtle Boy
May '06 - Oct '08

Time to hit the olde dusty trail...

Hey people. This the new place where you'll find me at. I deleted myspace because I'm trying to break my dependence on computers. I know what you're thinking, "You delete one thing just to create another". Well this seems purely blogging, which is all I need. There's nothing else to wrap up my time. So I created this so that if I ever have something on my mind I can say it. I don't blog that much. Maybe I will a little more when life gets more exciting. But I really only say what I feel is worth saying and try my best to keep from "well I bought this hat today" type of drivel. So yea, I'll be around from time to time. Trying to get my priorites straight. Until next time.

Ride Easy,
Josh